A staple of my collegiate diet is that quaint little taqueria commonly known as Felipe's. Tucked gently behind the South Claiborne strip mall and nuzzled close to the Papa John's, Felipe's is my go-to stop for burritos, quesadillas, nachos, and tacos.
A twelve inch wheat tortilla coated by a warm layer of melted cheese, succulent pork, and toppings gets me thinking. This is an amazing meal for a mere five bucks. And the atmosphere, do not get me started on the atmosphere. The employees all smiling, a quaint pair of dining areas, and a bar for those in need form this place into a trifecta of perfection: great sevice, food, and atmosphere. Throw me on some jalepenos, pico de gallo, cilantro, sour cream, and maybe even a little guacamole; and I am in heaven. This guarantees that the next two to three hours will be spent in the most satisfying full possible. I crave this dish. I love this food. You want to eat this delectablely simple concoction (I have even witnessed astute professors indulging in Felpe's warm, tasty goodness).
However, this was the old Felipe's. The Felipe's is only reminiscent of the watery mouth it has left me with. The new Felipe's is a heartless place where sour cream and quacamole, staple condiments of any good mexican cuisine, cost extra. A place where patrons are not even afforded a water cup to wash down the heat of a jalepeno or two. Yes, this is not the place I formerly loved.
I've always felt that a turn is important to any kind of writing. The way a piece introduces a concept or idea, directs it a certain way, and then at some point complicates it. I think you've got a good foundation for a turn with the way you've introduced how much you love Felipe's and then conclude with how its changed. Is there anyway you could keep some of the nostalgia or mention the still good quality of the food at the end to show how complicated your emotions are to Felipe's now?
ReplyDeleteFavorite quote, "And the atmosphere, do not get me started on the atmosphere." Agreed, I bit into a pork burrito (they were out of wheat), and half the meat was inedible fat that I had to pick out, which left me with a paste filled wrapping. Edit: my word to post this comment was "floggit"
ReplyDeleteThe staple is the food at the taqueria, not the taqueria itself--be precise with your language. "Tucked" and "nuzzled" are good specific active verbs. Nice little word play with "go-to stop." "Throw on some jalapenos" not "Throw me on".
ReplyDeleteGive us more specific description; "quaint" is too vague.
And more on the shift in the end from the old to the new--when did it change? The end makes this into an elegy for the old--let us know up front that it isn't what it used to be. (For what it's worth, I think you're right...too much success and the quality is slipping.)
There's one thing that really itches at me in this piece, and that's the time. The first line tells us that Felipe's a stable of your collegiate diet, and the last paragraph tells us that that was the old Felipe's. Does that mean you still go? It could be elaborated on ; or a detail in time could be given, as in when Felipe's changed, or how long was it a stable before it got bad.
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